Saturday, October 3, 2009

I am just a big ol' baby!

I don't have schizophrenia.   Somedays you must think I do though.  Ups and downs... that's our life.  An emotional roller coaster to put the most death defying coaster to shame a thousand times over.  Hiking a fourteener and being scared of heights, that was nothing.  This journey with our Mr. Noah... well, my heart skips many beats per day, breaks on a regular basis, and is running over with love for my son, family, and friends.  

In my last post I was being so foolish over silly things.  Some people have a hard time talking to me about their lives.  They think that somehow in comparison their problems are small when put next to mine.  This is down right silly!  My or your problem, emotion, or feeling is as important as the next person's.  We aren't having a competition.  But, I too, have those same feelings sometimes.  Like I have no right to complain.  

While I struggle with something as trivial as a G-tube and was brought to tears by the thought of not being able to feed my baby,  someone else had their child diagnosed with a mitochondrial disorder that carries with it a 2-3 year life expectancy once there is an onset of symptoms.

Putting my self in check NOW!

I have my son and so far no one has told me he has a fatal disease (knock on wood and a quick "thanks" to the Big Guy in the Sky).  If reflux and a G-tube is our biggest issue (well, that and this awful epilepsy, developmental delays, yada yada yada...), we are doing pretty good.  It could always be worse.  

I had to reflect back on some photos too just to remind myself to be grateful.  (If you are squeamish don't continue) you won't miss much but a few more ramblings from a crazy lady!  

But I'm going to share with  you what a BIG surgery looks like (big to us anyway).  

This warranted tears and worry.  And Noah made it.  He recovered and he fought his way though three of these!  He'll continue to fight and recover, God willing.  

He's strong.  

Not like his big ol' baby Mom!


  1. I suppose there are always going to be scenarios that help us all put things into perspective.....but still good to deal w/ real emotions as they roll.
    Lovin ya.

  2. You rock mama.